Valentine's Day

Kids are cruel beings. Very cruel. I don't care how innocent adults might think they are; kids are some of the most cut-throat things on this planet. As a first-hand witness, I know they'll do anything for a good time, a good laugh, whatever it is they desire from others. They'll use what people confide in them, anything. That's just one reason I hate Valentine's Day.


As the show choir at school was selling singing Valentines, I watched people get sung to and asked to the sweetheart dance. I watched as others were flattered and embarrassed all because somebody thought enough of them to send them something.
As the Agriculture department sold roses, I watched girls receive bouquets in delight. I watched as they blushed when they read the cards that came with them, wondering who their secret admirer was.


Others bought personal gifts for their loved ones, and I watched as they took it with a smile.


I got candy from my parents and watched the world pass me by in a flurry of "love" as I got nothing from the peers I had hoped I would. Even as the show choir gave a few free performances, I didn't get any. I felt left behind and forgotten, knowing that I probably didn't even cross their minds as the day came and went, wondering why it was so. But I guess I was used to it. I had never gotten anything in the years past, so why would this year be any different?


Even as the choirs gave free performances, I didn't get one. The show choir girls came in and asked for the teacher to send someone up to be sang to, and somebody suggested a redhead, but all of the others unanimously nominated another. The one that I would imagine to be one of the most anti-romantic. Then the teacher chimed in. So the curly-haired student walked reluctantly up to the front and maintained a look of terror with a hint of hatred on his face. He walked back to his desk and put his head down when it was done.


Watching this was like an epiphany. As far as I had previously known, only girls did this sort of attack on others, but I was wrong. Apparently guys do it too. They go after the weak and kill them off any way they can, emotionally, physically, or socially. This time the one with the curly hair was the victim. I found myself shaking my head on the inside a long time after, feeling bad for the socially awkward boy.


I dwelled on the Valentine's topic all day, until the pep assembly came. I hoped it would help take my mind off the topic, but it was more like a slap to the face. The dance company performed to one of my favorite songs, one that I keep close to my heart. The song that I had told one of the guys (one that might know I like him) dancing was my favorite. And he was dancing with the girl I dislike most. I owe a big thanks to him for making Valentine's Day all the worse for me, and I have a hard time listening to that song now. So thank you, my false confident.


What a waste of red ink on calendars, what a great opportunity to ruin others. Valentine's Day. Oh, how I hate it. How I hate the feeling of being forgotten and left behind, how I hate knowing that there are tons others who probably feel the same.


But how I hope that people will open their eyes and see me, see others. How I wish that they could actually appreciate us, maybe even love us. How I know that probably won't happen, at least for now.


Sigh, until next time,