Valentine's Day

Kids are cruel beings. Very cruel. I don't care how innocent adults might think they are; kids are some of the most cut-throat things on this planet. As a first-hand witness, I know they'll do anything for a good time, a good laugh, whatever it is they desire from others. They'll use what people confide in them, anything. That's just one reason I hate Valentine's Day.


As the show choir at school was selling singing Valentines, I watched people get sung to and asked to the sweetheart dance. I watched as others were flattered and embarrassed all because somebody thought enough of them to send them something.
As the Agriculture department sold roses, I watched girls receive bouquets in delight. I watched as they blushed when they read the cards that came with them, wondering who their secret admirer was.


Others bought personal gifts for their loved ones, and I watched as they took it with a smile.


I got candy from my parents and watched the world pass me by in a flurry of "love" as I got nothing from the peers I had hoped I would. Even as the show choir gave a few free performances, I didn't get any. I felt left behind and forgotten, knowing that I probably didn't even cross their minds as the day came and went, wondering why it was so. But I guess I was used to it. I had never gotten anything in the years past, so why would this year be any different?


Even as the choirs gave free performances, I didn't get one. The show choir girls came in and asked for the teacher to send someone up to be sang to, and somebody suggested a redhead, but all of the others unanimously nominated another. The one that I would imagine to be one of the most anti-romantic. Then the teacher chimed in. So the curly-haired student walked reluctantly up to the front and maintained a look of terror with a hint of hatred on his face. He walked back to his desk and put his head down when it was done.


Watching this was like an epiphany. As far as I had previously known, only girls did this sort of attack on others, but I was wrong. Apparently guys do it too. They go after the weak and kill them off any way they can, emotionally, physically, or socially. This time the one with the curly hair was the victim. I found myself shaking my head on the inside a long time after, feeling bad for the socially awkward boy.


I dwelled on the Valentine's topic all day, until the pep assembly came. I hoped it would help take my mind off the topic, but it was more like a slap to the face. The dance company performed to one of my favorite songs, one that I keep close to my heart. The song that I had told one of the guys (one that might know I like him) dancing was my favorite. And he was dancing with the girl I dislike most. I owe a big thanks to him for making Valentine's Day all the worse for me, and I have a hard time listening to that song now. So thank you, my false confident.


What a waste of red ink on calendars, what a great opportunity to ruin others. Valentine's Day. Oh, how I hate it. How I hate the feeling of being forgotten and left behind, how I hate knowing that there are tons others who probably feel the same.


But how I hope that people will open their eyes and see me, see others. How I wish that they could actually appreciate us, maybe even love us. How I know that probably won't happen, at least for now.


Sigh, until next time,

Rejected Reality

Constantly we are asked to share what we feel, what we think. Sometimes we'd rather not say for whatever reason, but we are pushed to answer anyways. If we're lucky, it all goes over well; the other person doesn't care and/or accepts what you have to say. But for us not-so-lucky ones (and more often so), our thoughts are denied and labeled wrong, invalid. They are out of range to a closed mind, and shut out of acceptance.  

So my question for the ones who wanted to know our thoughts in the first place is: what makes somebody's  feelinds wrong? invalid? unacceptable?

It's how you feel, and nobody can change that but yourself. It's not a chain of thoughts or logic; your feelings come from your heart, not your head, and they are what makes you you. It makes me sad to say that some people fail to accept that, fail to accept others for what they are and how they feel. They have no right to judge that what you say is indeed a false statement; if it's real to you and you believe it, it's not a lie, but a truth to you in it's entirety.

And it is one of the most frustrating things in the world to feel: to know that somebody else denies what you feel as true. Nobody is right all the time, but everybody is right sometimes. That's the truth that a lot of people love to label a lie. But it's not, so don't let them fool you into thinking so.

Feel all your own, think independently of others. Stand alone with the rest of this Quiet Rebellion, cut your ties to their lies and blossom as a wholly original you. Don't listen to what they have to say, most of the time it's not important anyways.

What I can tell you is that you'll never be happy if you're tethered to other people. The vine never reaches the sky because it depends on the wall. Be independant of that wall and listen to what your heart and head tell you. They'll take you farther than the illusioned map others have painted for you.

Untill next time, good luck,